


Just One Of Those Things

by GreenMeridian



Category: Chernobyl (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Don’t copy to another site, Erectile Dysfunction, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 05:54:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20092345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenMeridian/pseuds/GreenMeridian
Summary: Boris’ body lets him down.





	Just One Of Those Things

**Author's Note:**

> Finally managed to write something other than mind blowing sex. Don’t worry people, I’ll be back to my regularly scheduled program soon!

“It’s ok Boris... it happens.”

And didn’t that just hurt. He could have dealt with disappointment, gotten angry at pity, but how was he supposed to deal with resignation? With the implicit expectation that it was inevitable?

“Well maybe it happens to you, but it doesn’t fucking happen to me!”

Valery shuffled closer to him and lay a hand on his chest. Boris sighed and wrapped an arm around Valery’s shoulders. It wasn’t his fault, he knew. Far from it. He didn’t deserve his ire. But he was only 67! He wasn’t that old yet, was he? He looked at his useless cock where it lay against his thigh. It had been working perfectly fine his whole life, why did it have to let him down now? More than a month of wanting, of fantasising, of subtly trying to indicate his interest to the awkward scientist, and now, faced with the opportunity to actually be with him... nothing. Was it just stress, or because it was his first time with a man? Or was it the radiation? Was the last time he came going to be the last time he came? Alone in his room at night, one hand around his cock and the other clamped over his mouth so the microphones wouldn’t hear if he let Valery’s name slip. Never getting a chance to feel Valery’s lips around his cock or sink himself into Valery’s body. Never getting to show Valery how much he wanted him.

“Let me at least get you off,” he said, aware of Valery’s still mostly-hard dick against his leg. 

“You don’t have to, Boris. I’m fine, honestly.”

“I want to.”

Valery pressed closer to him. To his useless, old, broken body. Boris closed his eyes, the humiliation of the moment beginning to overcome him.

“You’re not a disappointment Boris,” Valery said softly. “You don’t have anything to make up for. It’s just... one of those things.”

“And if it happens next time? If we never... if I never...?”

“Then that’s what happens.”

Boris absentmindedly stroked the pale skin of Valery’s arm with his thumb. He wanted this man, god knows he did. Would this really be enough for Valery? Just laying together? He was only 50. Yes, the radiation would kill them eventually but surely Valery wouldn’t struggle to find someone else in the mean time. Someone whole.

“I can hear you thinking, Boria. Please... just lay here with me. This is what I want. Anything else, is just extra. I promise.”

Valery hoped his words were sinking in. Boris was a proud man who oozed masculinity, and if he really never had experienced this issue, Valery could understand why it was hurting him so much. 

He ignored the tension in his crotch. It had been so long since he’d been with another person, longer still since he’d been with a man, and he had so desperately wanted Boris. Laying like this, skin against skin, it was frustrating. Part of him wished he could just go back to his room and privately deal with his urges, or let Boris handle it for him, but he pushed his needs aside. Boris would not be touching him for the right reasons, it would be a way of proving himself and would probably only result in Boris feeling shittier about everything. No, what mattered right now was soothing Boris’ concerns.

Of course, Valery was worried too. What if this wasn’t just stress and the fact of Boris’ age? What if this was the radiation, slowly destroying Boris from the inside, weakening him? He knew they wouldn’t live long but still, the thought of Boris slipping away was painful. He loved him. Simple as that. Regardless of how inconvenient the timing was and how awful their reason for meeting was, regardless of the legal and social objections to such a thing, he loved him. 

He also found him painfully attractive. He was handsome, there was no denying that. His body was in excellent condition for his age, toned and strong, and Valery had been rendered speechless the first time he saw Boris in nothing but a towel. He had longed to touch him, to feel the weight of his cock in his hand and see his face as he came. He’d imagined how those large hands would feel on his body, how Boris would wrap one around his cock as he sunk into him. He would love Boris regardless, yes, but never getting to experience any of that with him... well, it would be hard.

He wasn’t young by any stretch of the imagination, but neither was he so old he didn’t have a sex drive. He didn’t have long to live, either. It struck him that if Boris were truly unable to perform, he would likely never have sex again before he died. Sure, Boris could always bring him off with his hands or his mouth and he looked forward to it very much but... he would never be fucked again. Never get to feel himself being opened up, never get to surrender himself to the intense sensations of stretching and fullness. He had gone a long time without, more than a decade even, but now, with a clock ticking down, the idea of never feeling that again was rather upsetting.

“If it’s ok, why do you look so upset?” Boris asked, breaking his train of thought. He adjusted his position so he could look at Boris’ face. Tension lined his mouth and his eyes were closed off, emotionless. “Stop pretending you’re not disappointed Valery, it’s insulting.”

“Boria... I’m not...” he began. But Boris’ eyes showed a flash of anger and he realised he wouldn’t get away with anything but the truth. “Ok, fine. I am disappointed. I have wanted you for so fucking long, Boris! I’ve gotten myself off while thinking about you. I’ve fantasised about you bending me over a desk and fucking me! And I’ve fantasised about sucking you off and watching you come and... yes, I’m disappointed because I want all of that with you, I want to give you pleasure and I can’t and it’s frustrating and I’m upset but that doesn’t make it any more your fault, or something that’s going to make me stop wanting you or make me stop loving you!”

Valery was breathing heavily when he finished, his cheeks flushed and his eyes looking anywhere but Boris’ own. He clearly hadn’t intended on such an outburst or that particular admission, but there it was. Boris had never had difficulty attracting a partner but he couldn’t remember ever having anyone declare their attraction to him quite like that or in quite so much detail. Nor could he remember having someone tell him they loved him first. It was always him who said it first, he was always the pursuer in relationships, in sex. But Valery... Valery was different. Valery has initiated their first kiss, Valery had started undressing him first this evening, and now Valery had spoken about his desires and emotions first too. 

He tangled his fingers in the silky strands of Valery’s hair and pulled him in for a kiss, letting his passion and love for the man show as best as he could. Valery moaned softly into the kiss and cupped his jaw, stroking his thumb across the stubble of his cheek. It was perfect, Boris thought. Valery was perfect. Stubborn, infuriating, awfully condescending at times without realising it, but perfect nonetheless. He rolled to face Valery, wrapping his arms around him and pressing their naked bodies together, relishing the feel of Valery’s soft skin and the hair on his belly against his skin. Valery’s plump lips were swollen from the kiss and his hair was a mess.

“You love me, Valera?” he asked with a small smile.

“I do as a matter of fact.”

Boris kissed him again, their legs tangling together. Valery was growing hard again, he could feel it against his own stubbornly soft cock. He slipped a hand between them and gave himself a few futile strokes. He was aroused, he felt it all over his body except the one place that mattered. Valery’s hand joined his, and blunt fingernails scraped across the sensitive skin of his testicles, the sensation both teasing and satisfying. He gave up trying to force an erection from himself and grasped Valery’s instead. Maybe his cock would work again, and god he hoped it would, but if this is all he could have, well, he could at least try to learn to live with it.

**Author's Note:**

> thegreenmeridian.tumblr.com


End file.
